Brief and Blunt – Grammys

In an effort to keep updating this blog with some regularity, I will try to make a few brief posts every week. I have trouble being brief. My writing style is typically circular – I don’t possess the talent to say exactly what I mean so I circle around and around like a plane waiting to land. So, I’ll just land a little quicker.

The Grammy Awards are tomorrow. James Blunt was rehearsing yesterday at the Staples Center here in LA. He’ s nominated for five awards, including Best Song for “Beautiful,” in which he repeats the lyrics “You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.” for four minutes in an annoying falsetto that would assure an ass-kicking in any public school in the US.

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His last name is Blunt. And he is.

“You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.”

Yesterday, Blunt rehearsed in front of empty seats with pictures of musicians who will occupy those seats during the show. Apparently, Grammy organizers tried to use pictures of the stars in which they look bored or annoyed in an effort to make the rehearsal more closely resemble the actual performance. Blunt apparently has pre-show jitters and said, “I hope I don’t throw up half-way through the song.” I hope I don’t, either.

On a more positive note, The Police reunion is scheduled as the show opener. Sting, who’s real name is Gordon Sumner (so, you can’t blame him for calling himself Sting) has acted in several films where he sucked his cheeks and pursed his lips, was a champion sprinter in high school, claims to have tantric sex longer than anyone in the world and was almost knighted. He was offered the lower rank of Real Important Guy or Commander of the British Empire or something equally silly sounding. He also loves to pose for ridiculous pictures that subtly reveal what a burden it is to carry the enormous weight of Sting’s talent.

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Along with his countryman, James Blunt, Sting is also not known for his subtlety.

“I’m beautiful. I’m beautiful. I’m beautiful.”, he seems to be thinking.

Sting will graciously allow his band-mates to share his stage but… “Don’t Stand So Close To Me.” That’s corny. Not subtle either. I sincerely apologize.

Enough with the Englishmen. It will be nice to hear Stewart Copeland with The Police, again.

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Oh, and that other guy who plays guitar.

Did you know that George Carlin is nominated for a Comedy album Grammy along with the hi-brow satire of the Blue Collar Comedy troupe and the wildly original Weird Al Yankovic? That is one tough category. If Carlin doesn’t win, despite the fact that he stopped actually being funny years ago, he should… well, he should just continue with his unfunny political rants.

I don’t think Shakira is nominated. And I do think that is a crime. I don’t know if she produced any new music this year, but she should be nominated every year because she’s so spectacular to look at.

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And talented.

My money is on the Arctic Monkeys in the Alternative category.

And India Arie in R&B.

And I’m anxious, as I’m sure everyone is, to see if Eddie Blazonczyk will prevail in the ever-popular Polka category.

And John Lithgow is nominated for a Children’s Musical Album. I don’t know about you, but that guy terrifies me. Can you imagine the years of nightmares and expensive therapy that purchase will produce?

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And then there’s Shakira. I think she’s worth considering, once again.

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I know it’s a little cheesy to put another picture of her on here. As James Blunt would so artfully write, and squeal…

“You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful.”

I was supposed to be brief. I apologize. I’ll work on it. Enjoy the show.

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8 responses to “Brief and Blunt – Grammys

  1. I would have to agree with you Eric, Blunt is well blunt, repetitive music pisses me off, it frustrates me.
    2nd I agree, Shakira, yummy! You can post many pics of her and it won’t get played out.
    -my 2cents 😉

  2. I wanted to say thank you…I am a Soldier deployed in Iraq, and came across a free copy of your movie The Almost Guys. It was great! You certainly brightened the day in a place where it matters. Thank you very much. By the way, your website is hilarious.

  3. You should feel really good about Spencer’s comment…

  4. beersonvacation

    You are right, Shakira is SOO hot…. and yes quite ummm “talented”

  5. I would like to see a continuation of the topic

  6. I love you Shakira…^^”

  7. I love you Shakira…^^”
    By:Juuh

  8. very very beauty.Ilove you shakira.good luck

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